英语情景剧7人幽默剧本

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小狮子女王

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搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表:西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿旁白道具:牛奶两袋,匕首一把,戒子一枚,纸屑若干。第一幕:决战紫荆城之颠旁白:A quiet village is covered with white snow .Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is coming in mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇.X:oH ,I am sorry to knock you !Y:, Never mind me, who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?X:惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!Y抱腿:Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?Y突然站起冷冷的说:Don’t force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks,Y:Do you still want to kill me ?X:Sure, must! Milk is (恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X:I’m sure I won’t!Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!X捂着肚子,蹲下(做痛苦状):Oach,Oach !Y大笑:HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit (一人路过,x起身跑过去)X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!X:Thanks, (以胜利者的语气,转头,看见 花满楼)Y:Who are you?H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !Y:You are right !H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you ’s very , follow me, Let’s go to see my king!第二幕:无间道H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! (指Y) this is down plese, me,I have a you give me what I want just if I follow you?King:yes,I ’s good. Can you give me a MM ?K:of are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……Y:of course.美女出场M:hello,帅锅..K: this is let’s have a 走到Y前,《婚礼进行曲》起,H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?Y: Yes,I : Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!(音乐停)X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for 冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!X:Forgive you? Why ?Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”!Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)X:milk?I love ’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)K:Fuck you. I must kill you!X:How can you kill me? haha……Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子,蹲下)M: oh,what happened?(看着X,做惊吓状)are you ok?(跑到西门吹雪身边)Y :do you want to go to wc?X:Yes,I……I…… , the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond : you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away ! K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with 惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Xwill 扑倒在X的身边:X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏,K吓跑.音乐《再见,警察》起)Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死,音乐停)(X咳,H扑到身边,电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起)M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .X:go home ! ?M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our : promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let I promise . I will never let go(X死) ,M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !—来自于网络

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红月光薇儿

英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money Scene1(At Salesman’s home) N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表) First, put the flour on the table. Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces! 另一个 白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白:Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on. 白雪:( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.) 皇后:I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me , mirror, mirror, come here! 魔镜:Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know? 皇后:Mirror, mirror, on the is the fairest of the all? 魔镜:Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as is much more beautiful than you. 皇后:She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly. 你看看哪个合适,也可以做一些修改 英语短剧剧本The Pocket Money Characters: Narrator(N),Salesman(S),Dad(D),Maggi(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P) Preparation:学校布景,做糖果用桌及相关材料,小贩家布景 Scene1(At Salesman’s home) N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty sale sman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello,do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school candies arevery popular,I don’t know foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表) First, put the flour on the table. Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,he hehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces! One, two, three, four, five……(用脏菜刀) Wow, everything is ready! 糖果钻出来(跳舞),跳完后,非常难过地说:Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu… S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha…… C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场) Scene2(At the school gate) N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. (Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门,看到小贩) (小贩拉着糖上场,吆喝):Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! …… M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies! A: Yeah! I think they are yummy! M: Let’s ask him. A: OK! C: Don’t buy me!(非常焦急) M&A: Why? C: I’m dirty! M: No, you look nice! C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面) S: Candies! Candies!(引诱两个女孩) M&A: How much are they? S: Do you have money?(轻蔑) M&A: Money?(对视) M:Oh, I’ve no money!(失落之极) A: Me too. S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开,下场) M: What can we do now? A: Let’s ask dad for money. M: But how to ask? A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.(自信) M: Good idea!(全部下场) Scene 3:(At Maggie’s home) N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报) M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸) A: And play the guitar for us! M: We know you play so well! (爸爸诧异地看着孩子) D: Oh? What a bright day today! M&A: Please, dad!(哀求) D:OKOK! Let’s. (取吉他,开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss? M&A: Of course! (开始弹,第一段孩子随节奏起舞,第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话,爸爸停止弹琴。) D: What’s the matter? M: Dad, we have no money! A: Can we have some please? D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any more. M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate. A: They look so sweet and nice! M: Other students always buy them! D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理,转头看报,孩子回到房间) M: What shall we do now? A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说) M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边) M: Dad, I want a new eraser! A: I want a longer ruler! M&A: Dad, please! D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money! M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看) A: And my ruler is broken.(拿出断尺) D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know? M&A: Yes, sir! D: Here you are !( 给钱) M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴,下场) N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache. (孩子高兴地买了糖,边吃边回家,小贩下场,孩子到家后肚子痛) M: Aiyo!……(两人躬着背进场) A: ……. D: What’s wrong? M: I’ve a stomachache! A: Me too! D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate? M: Yes. We had some candies just now. A: I had some too! D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!(生气) M: But they look nice! A: And tastes good! M&A: Aiyo…… D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look! M&A: OK. Scene 4: (At the school gate) N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away. (正走到校门口,发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩) P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now! C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩) S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And… C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy! M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…(指着小贩) D: He? (警察走过来问爸爸,朝小孩) P: What’s the matter with them? D: They got a stomachache after having his candies. S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And…… P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.(非常严厉) S: OK. I know. (羞愧) C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home. Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health. D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you? M&A: OK, dad! P: Let’s take them to the hospital now. D: OK, Let’s go. N(出场): A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon.还可以吗

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可琪宝贝

英语剧剧本:搞笑英语剧:三笑三 (漆表演) 场介绍: Ladies and gentlemen,let me introduct the actor. The first is zhaoyun,he is the most actor his black brother zhangfei ,and there boss liubei .don't forgot the other side Mr cao,and his adviser JiangGan,and the most strong XiaHou last,don't forget who behind the scenes ME----the Director. 第幕:物赵云 夏侯惇 曹操 蒋干 旁白:刚才久黑汉曹操军救刘备刘阿斗现向杀张飞(赵云场)Not too long ago,a black general saved the son of LiuBei ,Liu A is coming. His name is Zhangfei. 赵云:no本姓赵名云乃山龙 no! my family name is zhao my middle name is yun and my given name is zilong ~ (赵云背拿坨布代表阿斗) 赵云:看主公点骨血刘阿斗我火场救我自脸却早已……唉……化作焦炭(顾影自怜状)look! this is the last blood of the boss ! liu e dou . i took him out from the fire ,but my face hane already ...ai ~. (夏侯敦挺着枪呈猫腰状杀) 夏侯敦:贼莫跑要我杀戒(冲) Children stop there or i will kill you (赵云左手抱阿斗右手与搏斗) 赵云:恶居敢偷袭我fuck,!! you bitch dare to attack me ?? (二装腔作势打斗数招) 赵云:看我九阴白骨爪stop!! wait!!! one two three... nine dark white bone fingers!! 夏侯敦:唔(倒) oh my gad i'm over 赵云:宜久留快寻主公()yeah~ bitch i will go to look for my boss , goodbye~ (曹操、蒋干二) 曹操:没想我初兵便杀敌望风逃真谓师未捷身先死使英雄泪满襟 I didn't expect that we can beat the enemy with our first attack. It reminds me of a poem, "Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. Long the hero Tearful" 蒋干:丞相您说真见吉利 Prime minister,It does not sound good about what you have said; (曹操险些夏侯敦绊倒) 曹操:咦谁扔西瓜皮(转身看见倒夏侯敦)Huh? Who threw the banana rind? 曹操:夏侯卿难道搞行艺术Do not Xiahou Dun? Is he engaged in what is called performance art? (蒋干前夏侯敦顿拍打二站起) 曹操:夏侯卿何要装西瓜皮Why do you want to install banana rind on the ground? 夏侯敦:脸黑炭 手抱孩there is a very black people witha baby in his band 蒋干:敌保姆带孩it Is enemy's maid with a child in his arm. 曹操:呢What did you do? 夏侯敦:i i i…… i rushed to him and fight with him i'mfightting fightting fightting我 我…… 我冲与打斗 打 打 打 曹操:呢What then? 蒋干:丞相看夏侯军杀退敌 Prime minister, it is likely that general Xiahou has defeated the enemy 夏侯敦:唔唔(手势:指指门外右手作九随即作全身发冷状指向自衣服再指向曹操作爪击状) 曹操:呢 Then what happened? 夏侯敦:no no no I was defeated he used the nine cloud white bone finger ,it's so terrible (曹操、蒋干二夏侯敦拉起) 曹操:看敌应该没走远咱乘胜追击(慷慨状)It seems that the enemy should not go far. Let's run after them. 蒋干:候我真佩服丞相您乐观理……(赞同状) Sometimes I really admires prime minister very much about your optimistic psychology ...... 夏侯敦:唔唔唔唔~(抡起两拳作欲与敌搏斗状) (三) 第二幕:物:刘备 张飞 诸葛亮 赵云 (刘备、张飞、诸葛亮三) 旁白:刘备行军营外观看敌情~~~LiuBei and his team are looking something out of his military camp. 、 (诸葛亮走前面张飞、刘备二紧跟其) 诸葛亮:(转)主公啊按理说您走先啦(恭敬状)old liu ah,you should walk in front of us! Is not it? 刘备:啦军师您身块荫凉躲避避暑错Noit's very cool that I stand just behind youI can avoid summer heat 诸葛亮:(眺望状)主公我所料错现马要雨liu ah,come here! I tell you a secret! I think it is about to rain! 刘备:先神算所及知先何知道要雨great predictionNo one can compare with youjust wonder how do you know it's going to rain 诸葛亮:首先气预报说今雨;其(手指前)看边块黑云First,the weather report told us it is going to rain today;second,look at the sky,so many dark clouds are coming! (赵云) 张飞:哇龙啊想见龙换新桌面啊Ha! That is person who called long ah, I could not believe that you have changd a new tabletop without a minute! (张飞迎) 张飞:龙 long 赵云:翼德救我 help!!! brother three. (张飞) 赵云:主公云殊死力战保主许久见啼哭怕已经……(悲愤状取布包打并捧着) boss, i have trid my best to protect the little boss. but it have a long time to hear nothing. i am afraid... 赵云:kao没良居能睡着跟爹 oh ~ can the son of bitch get in like his father 刘备:咳咳 (赵云转身面向刘备) 诸葛亮:龙我说嘴少门总能啥实都往外说啊Zilong,not I tell you, although it is true,you should not say it out! (刘备怒视诸葛亮诸葛亮恍知赵云前阿斗递给刘备刘备捧着阿斗) 刘备:倒楣孩几乎损我员啊我留着赶啊我摔死吧because of youI almost lose a brave generalWhy do I keep you alivelet me kill you(阿斗摔) (赵云前准阿斗狂踹数脚诸葛亮前拉住赵云始终作势欲踢诸葛亮用身体压住赵云走前脚阿斗踢飞) 旁白:今阿斗智力便现明显发育迟缓……This is why liu a dou is so foolish that lost his country. 赵云:咦见关二哥呢 yi ~~ where is brothe two GuanYu? 刘备:二弟昨军师摆八卦阵冲撞马候闪着腰现休养呢:He layout the BaGuaZhen for military adviser yesterday, but when he rushed out , he get his waist twisted, now he stay in bed. 诸葛亮:哎太糟糕看我健康健壮告诉喝三鹿奶粉(自恋状)Oh,It is so bad! Look at me,so healthy,so strong!tell him to drink more sanlu milk powder! 赵云:给孩喝(走前抚摸诸葛亮做怜惜状) so you drink to be a foolish? 曹操(台):啊~(惨烈) 刘备:难道三弟重操旧业咱快看看Did zhangfei return to one's former career Go to see what happen? (三) 第三幕: 物 张飞 曹操 夏侯 蒋干 刘备 诸葛亮 旁白:间拨三钟前张飞战坂坡……Go back to three minutes before the time set asidezhangfei fight with caocao's army on changbanpo (张飞台转圈京剧拿柱般亮相定格) 曹操蒋干:嘿嘿嘿嘿(奸笑) 夏侯敦:唔唔唔唔……(奸笑) (三奸笑台)代写剧本 至美.jiaokedu中国 张飞:哇火腿肠拉 Wa!You, The hot dog, come back ! 夏侯敦:我靠黑黑都牛x我怕 black man come again Blacks are very powerfuli'm afaid 曹操:阁何何竟美妙声音Excuse me. May I know your name? What a wonderful voice you have! 张飞:我便燕(yān)张翼德(咬牙)I am Zhang Yide from jingdu! (clenches teeth) 曹操:阉原太监……夏侯敦解决 You are the so called coward,aren't you?xiahou,beat it! (夏侯敦低猫腰冲) 夏侯敦:唔唔~唔 (二打起)(定格) 蒋干:丞相仗咱必输桥断水倒流呢快叫夏侯军吧 Prime minister, we must have lose this Campaign , the bridge will also cut off the water soon!Let's call Xiahou general to get down quickly 曹操:知道How dou you know it? 蒋干:《真三双叁》坂任务啊 "Really,it is the game's duty of Three countries Unparalleled Three"!! 曹操:干啊我看太沉迷于中国络游戏既浪费间海身体听丞相句吧珍命远离三俗啊 I think you are too addicted to online games. What a waste of time, and It's harmful,listen to me ,You must take good care of yourself. (张飞与夏侯敦二继续张飞枪击夏侯敦) 夏侯敦:oh my gad i am over again打败 (蒋干前夏侯敦拖) 曹操:唉今世道变太监都厉害啦 Why does that coward become so brave? 张飞:曹贼听着今汝等必能桥 cao ,stops talking! Today you all can't pass this bridge with a live one! 曹操:汝休猖狂今要我手典韦身死许诸拉稀于禁肺炎李典麻疹文聘肝癌张辽痔疮才输给shut up!If general dianwei was still alive,We would not be defeated! 张飞:手终究用啊面景请我真想赋诗首——Nobody may go to battle for you ,Facing this scenery,i really want to sing a , on ......On ......(音乐起)only you ~~~~~only……you…… (夏侯敦跃起) 夏侯敦:唔唔唔……(手捂耳跑) 曹操:啊(惨厉叫声并手捂耳) 蒋干:啊(惨厉叫声并手捂耳) 曹操:难道传说门尔松c调《鬼叫》协奏曲何震撼(惊惶状)Why is this so shocking! 蒋干:(手指张飞)快看丞相桥断水始倒流啦(转身手捂耳) Look, Prime minister! The bridge broke! The water also starts to flow backwards(音效:山崩裂声) 曹操:aaaaaaaaaa(痛苦吐血状)(定格) (诸葛亮、刘备、赵云三) 诸葛亮:别唱啦再唱曹操给唱死啦Do not sing more,ok?if you go on singing,CaoCao will die because of your song! 刘备:三弟快打住(手捂耳)Stop,stop(手捂耳) 张飞:only you ~~~~~only……you……(余音绝) 刘备:龙快三弟扛Zilongcarry zhangfei back quickly 赵云: ok (赵云前手捂住张飞嘴扛走张飞依旧唱停) (张飞、赵云二) 旁白:首歌传唱至今 经久衰叫做:only you~~~~ since then, a song becomevery very name is 《Only You》.(歌声再响起众谢幕~~

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