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林麓是吃货

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人物:团支书,小艾,小玲,小伍 场景:教室 团支书:同学们,同窗们,同志们,同胞们,同。。。同。。。同什么们!请大家听我说一句! 三人:说吧。 团支书:你们听不听啊? 三人:听着呢! 团支书:真的听? 三人:真的! 团支书:确定? 三人:确定。 团支书:不反悔? 三人:不反悔。 团支书:你们是认真的?没我? 三人:你说不说啊? 团支书:噢,我开始说了!----我要说什么来的? 三人晕倒。 团支书:啊!!!对了! 三人坐起。 团支书:我真的忘了我要说什么! 三人又晕倒。 团支书:好了,言归传正,你们再不能醉死梦生了!你们一定要自强不息,自告奋勇,自,自,自。。。好好改过,抵制日货! 小玲:这都什么乱七八糟的! 团支书:小玲!你为什么上课要睡觉? 小玲:我困故我睡! 团支书:你为什么不在宿舍睡? 小玲:我也想啊!可老师不让走! 团支书:你就不能下课睡? 小玲:我下课了也睡! 团支书:那你晚上做什么? 小玲:你晚上做什么? 团支书:睡觉啊! 小玲:我们这个习性一样! 团支书:你除了睡觉还做什么? 小玲:很重要的事!----吃饭! 团支书:那学习怎么办? 小玲:我也想咨询这个问题呢! 团支书:同学!请端正态度!为什么一天到晚都睡觉? 小玲:是啊! 团支书:就不能一晚到天睡吗? 小玲晕倒。 小艾:哈哈哈! 团支书:小艾,你怎么总是玩游戏? 小艾:心理需要! 团支书:游戏有什么好玩的?课余时间玩玩就算了!最瞧不起你们这些玩游戏的,一点技术含量没有!告诉你老师很生气,后果很严重! 小伍:哈哈,你又挂了! 团支书:还有你小伍! 小伍:有! 团支书:看看你一天,除了找女生约会,喝茶散步,这成绩都被你泡进去值得吗? 小伍:是啊!前途无靓啊!---无靓女! 团支书:是前途无亮了,――无光亮! 同学们,同窗们,同志们,同――― 三人:你就直说吧! 团支书:同什么们! 三人晕倒。 团支书:燃烧我们的青春吧! 小玲:没火柴! 团支书:努力奋进吧! 小艾:没力气! 团支书:抛弃你们的坏习惯! 小伍:它不抛弃我! 团支书:来来来,我们一起用功吧! 三人趴下:唉! 团支书:打起神精来,抓紧时间,让我们―――― 下课铃响。 团支书:――――吃饭去! 三人:耶! 团支书:你们怎么可以这样啊?你们这样对得起党,对得起国家,对得起人民,对得起你们老母吗?对得起------我吗? 小艾若有所感:妈! 团支书:哎! 小艾:占我便宜! 团支书:纯属意外!music! (<魔法风>之类抒情曲) 小玲:其实,我也不是那么想睡觉!睡了,只是为了逃避现实!睡了,就看不见讲课的老师,看不见认真的同学,什么也不用想,什么也不用思考!我也想学习,但总觉得,想休息。。。 其他三人鼓掌。 小艾:说真的,我也不一定要玩游戏。是因为觉得学的好累,又学不好,只是想借游戏来麻痹自己!越是苦闷,越是玩游戏,游戏中我是王者,给了我暂时的快乐,但是成绩也越差。成绩越差,又越苦闷! 其他三人鼓掌。 小伍:说实在的,我对爱情确实有许多的渴望。想体会月上柳梢头,人约黄昏后的浪漫,也为了逃避学习而找借口!一旦放松自己,人也懒散了,更不想学习了。 三人鼓掌。 团支书:我想我明白你们的心情,你们是走入了心灵的阴影!所以我想拉你们一把!作为团支书,帮助你们是我的责任!作为同学,我更希望掉队的同学归队! (音乐停!)因为我们来到同一个集体,从那一天起,我们就是一家人了!(音乐《因为我们是一家人》) 团支书:好!也许你们一时间无法适应,但我会一直帮助你们,指导你们,引诱你们! 三人:啊? 团支书:不!引导你们!诱惑你们! 三人:哎? 团支书:总而之言一句话,大家一起努力吧! 三人:fightting! 几个人一块努力学习,互相帮助,下。 小玲:在团支书的帮助下,我终于明白了三万六千日,夜夜当秉烛!我的成绩,终于出现了(拿出牌子!)优! (唱)我喜欢酸的甜这就是真的我,重修班的门从此不再来,多么美好的世界,等待着我去发现! 小艾:(夹着书)自从我不再打游戏,轻轻松松过四级,现在我努力学英语,目标:―――第一! (唱)呵呵哈hi快别再打游戏!呵呵哈hi快别再打游戏!重修天王的招牌,被我一脚踢开! 小伍:书中自有颜如玉,书中自有。。。还是颜如玉!自从有了书的陪伴,我空虚的心灵终于被填满!我挥一挥衣袖,不再接一份重修单! (唱)我要变成童话里努力的那个孩子,不再重修快快乐乐地学习! 团支书:同学们,同窗们,同志们,同――――怎么都走光了?同什么们!你们终于成为优秀团员啦!要继续努力,永不放弃啊! 三人:谢啦!同什么们!

308 评论

小美人杰西卡

有了有了!Big words of western tour (大话西游) Chapter 1Site:The weddingCharacters:牛魔王 、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖Aside: The story begins with a wedding. The Bull King is going to have a concubine.牛:Today is my wedding. I am going to have a concubine. Ha ha ha …….妖:Concubine? Dose your wife agree to it?牛:Oh! She is not lovely anymore. She’s right now at the Flame Mountain. She can do nothing about it!(至尊宝从后台走入人群中)牛:Let me introduce my brother to you! My bro! Come here! This is my brother.(牛深情地转向紫霞)牛:Zixia, listen to me. I think I ‘ve fallen in love with you once I know you. I want to show my sincerity. So I request you to marry me in front of my bros. This Pandora’s Box is my gift to you. I hope you would say yes.妖:I object!牛:What?妖:Zixia has a means to test her lover. If you can pass it, I will shout up!至:What’s this? Really?妖:This test is that she would marry the guy who can make her Magic Sword go out of the scabbard.(剑从至的怀中落下)妖:Magic Sword?牛:Let me do this!(紫跑出,拾剑)紫:It’s not true! It’s just a joke. It is still meaningless even if you can put it out!(紫跑下)妖:King, Iron Fan Princess has come.牛:Aaa……(牛惊慌地跑下)Aside: The monkey king leaves the front hall, running to back garden……Chapter 2Site: Bull King’s back gardenCharacters: 至尊宝、紫霞(至跑过来,突然看到紫独自坐在台阶上,于是走过来)至:Why are you hiding here?(紫抽剑,指向至。两人定格,至走出来,独白)至:At this time, the blade is really close to me, 0.01 cm I think. But after a short period of time, 0.01 second I think, the owner of the sword will fall for me whole-heartedly. Because I’ve decided to tell lies, I’ve told many lies in my life, but I think it is the most wonderful lie!紫:I’ll kill you if you come closer!至:You should kill me! Kill me! I’d found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. I left regretful after that. It’s the ultimate pain in the world. Just cut my throat, please don’t hesitate! If God can give me a chance, I will tell her there words. “I love you”. If God wants to give a time limit, I’ll say this love will last 10 thousand years!(紫长叹,抛剑,拾剑,抱剑)紫:What can you tell your wife?至:I have to tell her the truth. So I must get the Pandora’s Box back. Then go back with you and explain everything. But I hate myself that I can’t get the box back. I ……紫:I help you!至:No, it’s dangerous!紫:You don’t want to?至:I do! But ……紫:I trust you! I’ll get the Pandora’s Box back tonight. Wait for me here at midnight.(猪喊)至:Let me do something to my boss first. See you tonight.(依依不舍)Aside: The night ……Chapter 3Site: DungeonCharacters: 至尊宝、猪八戒、沙僧、唐僧猪和沙:Master, master(两人同时悄声说)猪:We come to save you.沙:We come to bring you out.唐:I won’t go.猪和沙:Stay here? Why?唐:There’re full of obstacles in the way of getting scriptures. This is because we’re not united enough. So we let the devils do bad to us. That’s fine. This prison has no difference with the outside world, to me; the outside world is just a bigger prison. You go out first. I have something to tell him.(猪和沙下)唐:You come in and have a sit!至:To be honest, I’m not your disciple. I don’t want to be your disciple. Master I know you’re a good guy. Please let me go!唐:Do you know “dong , dong, dong ……”?至:What is “dong, dong, dong”?唐:“dong, dong, dong ……” is ……(唐唱Only you)至:Stop. Stop. I can’t take this anymore, please stop ……唐:Ohoh ……至:Damn you, you … I’ve said I can’t take this anymore. Don’t disturb or I’ll kill you.唐: Monkey King, you can kill me. Life and death are very minor. When you know why you should make sacrifices, you will come back and sing this song with me. Namonitabhaya …(至跑走)Aside: The Monkey King succeeds in escaping form the Bull King, and he reaches the Spiders’ Cave with the Grapes. Unfortunately, the Monkey King and his friends meet the Queen of Spider. The Monkey have heard that if the blade slashed fast and accurately, the guy who’s cut open won’t die at once. He can still see. So he asks the Queen of the Spider to kill him as fast as she could and to tear his heart out and let him have a look. After the Monkey King’s death, he appears in the Hole of Waterfall …Chapter 4Site: The Hole of WaterfallCharacters: 至尊宝、观音至:Goddess. I’m about to understand your words. I used my eyes to see in the past. What I was dying. I started using my heart to see this world. Then I could see all things clearly. That girl …has left a drop of tear in my heart. I felt her sorrow.观:Have you given up all things in human world?至:Yes! Life and death is just minor! …… But I don’t understand why can human’s hatred last 10 years, 50 years, and even 500 years. What hatred is it?观:So that Tang Monk went to the west and got scriptures, which clean out hearts.至:OK, I want to stay here, there are many things waiting for me to do.观:I want to warn you again. After wearing the gold ring, you’re no longer a normal human. You can’t have human desires anymore. If you do so, the gold ring will get smaller and smaller. It’s very uncomfortable.至:OK.观:Before wearing the ring, what do you want to say?至:I had had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”! If there is a time limit, I hope, it is 10 thousand years!第二...Wanderseveryfivemiles焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)Prologue(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemywifeisWuSong.(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetenderthanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)Act1(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law”.L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,solazy……L:But……JM:Neverinterruptme!L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardalldaylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchickenand……JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyourson.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)Act2(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)L:Mum,I’mback!LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!WhenyouinsistedonmarryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlistentome.Lookatyourself……L:But,mum……LM:Neverinterruptme!L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?AndI’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“IfyoudaughterHaven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgoandtellhim.(下)L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)Act3(J睡眼惺忪上)J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Nowshehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanicegirl,goandtakeherback!J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!Act4(J开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头,但踩到了A的脚)AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!J(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough?(三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoandrobthewedding!A&B:Goodidea!J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.B:Haveyougotanyexperience?J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000)Act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期.MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(J和三强盗跃至台中)ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!B:AndIplantedonetree.C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---J:Giveusallyourmoney!(L听到J的声音,掀起了盖头)L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)(MS大怒,挥拳向J打来.J矮身一躲,MS打中了J身后的L,L晕倒)J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!(挥拳向MS冲去)(J与MS混战,JM上,以拐杖击晕MS)(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)J(扶起L,关切地问):Honey,howareyou?L(哭状):Ihurtalot!J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)

181 评论

尛小尛111

喜羊羊与灰太狼学生英语小品剧本,片名:一把“枪”.剧情:喜羊羊一伙儿在一起玩,灰太狼突然袭击,进行抓捕,把美羊羊、懒羊羊抓走了。慢羊羊糊涂地给了喜羊羊一把假枪,喜羊羊与暖羊羊去狼堡解救美羊羊、懒羊羊。它们被喜羊羊与沸羊羊和暖羊羊用一只假枪解救,回到羊村后才发现这是假枪。最后以红太狼灰太狼被定住结束。道具:两把玩具枪。人数:五名男生,三名女生(其中一名稍胖)出场人物:喜羊羊Pleasant Goat 美羊羊Pretty Goat 懒羊羊Lazy Goat 沸羊羊 Force Goat暖羊羊Warm Goat 慢羊羊 Slowly Goat(Village Head) 灰太狼 Big Big Wolf 红太狼 Red Big Wolf情节对话:(喜羊羊、美羊羊、沸羊羊、懒羊羊、慢羊羊还有暖羊羊在一起;灰太狼和红太狼在旁边隐蔽)喜:What can we play today?美:We have nothing to play.It’s dull!懒:I have a good idea. (睡意朦胧)喜、沸:What idea do you have? (好奇)懒:Let’s sleep! (自信满满)暖、慢:Oh,no!You are very lazy!(无奈指责)灰:Ha!Dear goats,I’m coming!(灰太狼小声→大声,出现在羊面前)美:Ah!Look,Big-big-wolf!Run away! (惊恐了一大跳)(羊们开始逃跑,灰太狼追着美羊羊)灰:Ha-ha!I’m sure that it’s a good and delicious goat!(灰太狼紧追美羊羊)美:Pleasant-goat!Please help me! Help,help,help! (神情紧张)灰:It’s too late!My favourite goat.(十分贪婪,并抓住了美羊羊)喜:Pretty-goat,I have nothing to do.But I’ll save you!(灰太狼抓住了美羊羊后,又开始抓其它羊)懒:Don’t touch me!Help me!(也神情紧张)灰:Ha!Little fat goat.I’m hungry now. My wife is waiting for me.Haha! (灰太狼又抓住了懒羊羊,于是逮着懒羊羊,美羊羊走向狼堡,最后进入了狼堡)-------------------地点转换(在狼堡)----------------------------红:Wa!Big big wolf!You are very good! Oh,two goats! (激动)灰:Wife.I’m going to cook them soon!Today we’ll have a super dinner,I’m looking forward to eating goats the first(灰太狼和红太狼准备煮羊)-----------------------地点转换(在青青草原)----------------------慢:What to do?Pleasant-goat,find a way quickly,be quick! (着急)沸:Pleasant goat!Find a way!喜:There’s only one key.Let’s goto wolf’s houseand save them!暖:What? I am very worried about that!It’s too dangerous !(表现出害怕的样子)慢:Ng.This is only one key.I’m wating for you.You must save Pretty-goat and Lazy goat .And this is a special gun.Big-big-wolf won’t move for an hour.Give you,Pleasant goat. (慢羊羊拿出一把枪,深沉地给了喜羊羊)喜:That’s great!Let’s go.Warm goat and Force goat! (握住拳头)暖,沸:Ok,let’s go to wolf’s house! ( 气势磅礴)(喜羊羊它们向狼堡走去;灰太狼与红太狼正得意洋洋)-----------------------地点转换(在狼堡)---------------------------红:Two Little goats.You will finish!I’ll eat you! (贪婪野蛮)美:Oh,no.I believe Pleasant goat can save me! Yes?Lazy goat?What are you doing?(无助)懒:Let me sleep,xu.(乐观派)美:Ah!Don’t sleep!I am very afraid ! If you don’t sleep,I will give you candy!懒:Really?I love candy !(懒羊羊突然醒了,美羊羊点点头)(喜羊羊,沸羊羊,暖羊羊到达,并使劲敲门)灰:Who?Oh, wife.Maybe are the other goats!Let me catch them.(喜羊羊拿住枪,准备瞄准;灰太狼打开门)灰:Oh,it’s pleasant goat!I’ll get you for my dinner!喜:Big-big-wolf.Goodbye!(Bang!!!!!!!!!!!)(开枪)(灰太狼突然动不了了)暖:Wa!Pleasant goat,you are very great!(赞美)灰:Pleasant-goat!What do you do? Why can’t I move?!(喜羊羊笑了笑,把枪给了沸羊羊)喜:Force goat,give you gun.Let me save them.沸:Ok!...Ng.Red big wolf!you will finish!(喜羊羊救了美羊羊,懒羊羊,沸羊羊把枪对准红太狼)红:What are you going to do?little fat goats? (害怕)沸:Goodbye,Red big wolf!(bang!!!!!)(沸羊羊向红太狼开枪;红太狼动不了了)美,懒:Thank you,Pleasant-goat!(感激不尽)暖:Lazy goat, pretty goat,Run away quickly!(美羊羊,懒羊羊逃了出来)红:Big-big-wolf,I hate you!Ah! (红太狼挣扎)美:Mr. Big-big-wolf and Red big wolf,goodbye! (亲切)懒:Pretty-goat,where’s my candy? (天真好奇)美:Oh!Lovely lazy goat,I have no candy.Sorry?Don’t blame me! (违约)懒:What?My candy!My God!...Ai,Let me sleep,xu.(无奈的)暖:Don’t sleep!Lazy goat!We will go to our house! (命令)(懒羊羊随即被叫醒,并打了个哈欠,之后羊群到达羊村)慢:Pleasant goat,you’re very good!Give me special gun.(迎接)沸:Here you are.Village Head.慢:Ah,that’s not ture the special gun.This is ture!(激动地拿出真枪)暖:Ah?If this……(疑惑无比)慢:If this false gun,Big big wolf can’t move for ten days!(大声)懒:Ha ha.Ng……And do we win?喜,沸,暖,美:Yes!We win! (羊们笑着说)-----------------------地点转换(在狼堡)---------------------------红:Big-big-wolf,Where are our goats?Where?you, you,I hate you!Ah!You are foolish! (动不了了)灰:Wu……Awful pleasant-goat,I must eat you the first!And I’m sure come back soon(哭着说)剧本原创编辑:天津大港二中刘耀文臧宇涵班俊良指导老师:温老师友情提示:请参考以下人物特征表演喜羊羊机智、勇敢、乐观,永远带着微笑,也是族群里跑得最快的羊,每次都识破灰太狼的阴谋诡计、拯救了羊羊族群的生命,是羊氏部落的小英雄美羊羊爱美、爱打扮、心灵手巧,能用任何东西编织出能用来打扮的饰物。还是营养学家、美容师、模特儿、服装师......一切与“美”有关的,她都非常精通。在羊村里最受羊仔们欢迎,是大家跟风学习模仿的对象。懒羊羊青青草原上最聪明的一只小肥羊,因为比别人聪明,干活、读书都比别的羊快,所以有很多时间可以用来睡觉。他不爱运动,只是聪明机智,而且临危不乱,总是一派大智若愚、举重若轻的感觉。沸羊羊最健壮的羊,也是最鲁莽的一只羊,最喜欢的事是健身。无论对什么羊都是看不顺眼,经常是板着脸孔,一副很酷的样子,对所有事情总是持反对意见。以为自己英伟不凡,天下无敌,其实什么都无能为力。慢羊羊羊部落中最年长的长者,博览群书,平时最爱搞搞小发明小创造,是个乌龙发明家。发明时往往害得自己吃尽苦头,但危急是发明的东西又能派上用场,但是因为年纪老,每个行地动都慢吞吞,把身旁的羊急死。暖羊羊羊学校新来的转学生,个性温驯、友善、有一副菩萨心肠,认为世上没有坏人,所以从不随便伤害任何人,包括一草一木,甚至是灰太狼。可是她力大无穷,难以控制,往往只是轻轻拍拍肩膀,便可将对方拍扁。越想表示友好,越容易伤害旁人-----令她十分苦恼。灰太狼灰太狼是雄性大灰狼,住在草原边上的树林,是一个奸诈但又愚蠢的笨坏蛋,平时在家爱钻研办法,练习偷鸡摸狗的技巧,一有机会就去骚扰羊部落,永远想偷羊吃,永远被喜羊羊识破打败,怕老婆,经常是老婆出口,他出手,事情没办好,就要受狼老婆的处罚。红太狼红太狼是灰太狼的老婆,一只好吃懒做、凶悍无比的母狼,贪婪、虚荣、忌妒、邪恶、狠毒,虽然长得很不怎么样,却是身材妖冶,还自己打 扮得豪华高贵,总认为自己是天下最美的女人,所以对于任何美的东西,她都要想方设法毁掉。

271 评论

蔡zhong凯

全英文的!::甲:亲爱的观众朋友们,大家晚上好!(鞠躬) 乙:Good evening everyone ,Dear my friends。 甲:你说什么? 乙:我说英语啊! 甲:英语?英国老鼠?好家伙,来一中半个学期,成了洋鬼子了。 乙:这不是洋鬼子。这是世界普通话嘛——English.你懂吗? 甲:哦,世界普通话。我也会说。世界不懂话嘛。我说给你听。 乙:你说说给我听! 甲:…… 乙:这是什么东东呀? 甲:哈,听不懂就对了。这就是你说的世界不懂话。说了谁也听不懂的话。 乙:咳,你这个人,什么年代了,还这么落后,我说的可是正宗英语,现在 已经成了世界通用的语言了,所以 叫世界普通话。就象中国普通话一样普及。 甲:是嘛。你这么说,我倒要见识见识了。 乙:你想学英语? 甲:废话。不学不就象你说的,落后了嘛? 乙;对,你真聪明! 甲:你可以教我嘛? 乙;好啊! 甲:太谢谢你了,那,比如,见了面用英语怎么打招呼呀? 乙:这很容易,招手:Hello…… 甲:哦,(学)二楼!这真的容易。见了面,上二楼,叫我吃饭啊! 乙:不是二楼!是Hello。 甲:哦,不是二楼,是下楼?让我下楼,又不让我吃饭了?咳…… 乙:你这人真是的,你饿晕了吗?总吃什么饭啊,什么二楼,下楼。还下流呢!看来你真不是学英语的料。不教你了, 甲:哎!不要生气啊,你就再教教我嘛。 乙:好吧!谁叫我是个大好人呢? 甲:那么,你叫什么名字,怎么说? 乙:我叫韦东。 甲:不是,我是问你,英语“你叫什么名字”怎么说。 乙:哦,你听啊,What's your name? 甲:(壮话)闻是用name(重复),哦,英语真了不起! 乙:怎么了? 甲:我们是壮族的啊!你听啊,英语也和我们壮话一样,教育我们,人家放屁了,千万不要在后面跟着,好好(讲壮话)跟了放屁的人,不是好臭嘛,是吧! 乙:这怎么是壮话呢?还跟什么放屁连在一起,乱七八糟的。 甲:(傻笑)呵呵。 乙:我可告诉你,你还想不想学英语? 甲:(赶忙)想学,想学。不就和我们壮话一样嘛。 乙:听了啊,是,就是yes。 甲:咽死!咽死!这多么不吉利啊! 乙:你说什么? 甲:咽死,咽死,不说什么! 乙:好,不呢,英语就是no。 甲:哦,不,英语是这个,脑! 乙:不是脑袋,是NO。 甲:不就是脑——嘛! 乙:对 甲:“教室”,用英语怎么说? 乙:教室是“Class room。” 甲:格拉格rem,格拉格rem,你们的教室是在木楼上面嘛? 乙:没有啊! 甲:那你们教室也够吵的啦! 乙:为什么? 甲:格拉格rem 格拉格rem 不是同学们在教室里又唱又跳让地板(格拉格rem 格拉格rem) 乙:哇!你这人,想象力还挺丰富的。 甲:是嘛!这样,记英语单词也就快了嘛! 乙:真有你的! 甲:让你这么一教,我很快就学会了英语啦。 乙:好啊?那你就把刚才我教给你的英语给我说一遍。 甲:好,听着啊——(说不出来) 乙:快说呀! 甲:你急什么急呀!我不正准备呢嘛?(又说不出来) 乙:看见了吧?说不出来了!我说你不好好学,怎么说好英语呢? 甲:谁说我学不好英语啦?听啊,见了面说二楼,然后说我what's your name?如果name了我。那你就会咽死,因为上面“格拉格rem,格拉格rem” 乙:都什么乱七八糟的。

248 评论

周周-Sophia

对不起啊!我真的don'konw!

150 评论

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