么么哒ALICE
孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本 Wander severy five miles 焦仲卿Johnny (Jforshort) 刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother (JMforshort) 刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson (MSforshort) 强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:Everybody says that I’m henpecked,but in fact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wifeis Wu Song. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you! (内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) My God!Who can help me?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):I can! (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’s up mum? JM:I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”. L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’s up? JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Never interrupt me! L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised ten soft housands of pigs and ducks and chicken and…… JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)Goan dask your son.I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下) Act2 (LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L:Mum,I’m back! LM:You are back?Why?What happened? L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself…… L:But,mum…… LM:Never interrupt me! L:Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK?And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to. LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor’s son in the market.He said:“If your daughter Haven’t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go and tell him.(下) L(惊愕):What?The mayor’s son?The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)What as illy thing I have done!(下) Act3 (J睡眼惺忪上) J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er!How smelly!They are still dirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself. JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’s Lunch?Hasn’t she got up yet? J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone! JM(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wifeis useless.Lunch is an ice girl,go and take her back! J(立正敬礼):Yes madam! Act4 (J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) A:Hey you!Stop and listen to us! The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚) AB&C:Give us all your money! J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1 mao enough? (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) A:What bad luck!This guy is broken! B:If we can not robany money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight! C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan zhi next month.WE can go and rob the wedding! A&B:Good idea! J(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible! AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple! 标题: 孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本 J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet! (突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’t you?I’ll go with you.You take the money and I take the bride. B:Have you got any experience? J:No.But I’ve got this!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000) Act5 (转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中) ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us! A:The road is built by me! B:And I planted one tree. C:If you want to go by this street--- J:Give us all your money! (L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头) L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后) (MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒) J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向MS冲去） (J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS) (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,how are you? L(哭状):I hurt a lot! J:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下) L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下)【5人英语短剧】阿拉丁传说 The Tale of Aladdin 【7人英语短剧】Cinderella 灰姑娘 7人 短剧 【The Gifts （礼物）】中英文短剧剧本 【4人英语短剧】阿拉丁传说 The Tale of Aladdin【7人英文话剧】花木兰 Mulan
酒窝喵喵兔
英语剧本：骄傲的孔雀（A proud peacock） 小松鼠：（软翻上）小猴：（围着小松鼠） Great! Great! Let me have a try.棒极了！棒极了！让我也来一个。狐狸：（追上） Hi! You two, don’t play any more. The forest concert is going to begin.嗨！你们两个，别再闹了。 森林音乐会将要开始了。You’d better go and prepare for it.你们最好快去做准备工作吧！小猴：Look, I’m just preparing for it.看，我不正在排练吗？（准备前滚翻）狐狸：You naught monkey! Don’t play any more.你这个调皮的猴子，别贪玩了。小松鼠：Let’s go! Little monkey! 我们走吧！小猴！小猴：Would you like to go with us, Fox?你和我们一起走吗？狐狸？狐狸：Thanks! But I’m going to invite the peacock to our concert. I’ll be back soon.谢谢！但我还要去请孔雀来参加我们的音乐会。我马上就回来。松鼠、小猴：See you later! 等会见！狐狸：See you later! （自言自语地）My beautiful peacock. Where are you? Can you hear me?（狐狸下）美丽的孔雀。 你在哪里？ 你能听到我在叫你吗？孔雀（上）：Hi, I’m a peacock! Look! How pretty I am! My colourfull feathers. 大家好！我是孔雀。看！我多漂亮啊！ 我五彩缤纷的羽毛。 My beautiful cockscomb. Who have these just like mine? Oh! What are you saying? 美丽的冠子。 你们谁有呢？ 哦！你说什么？ Have I got any friends? Oh, no, no. I don’t need any friends. My only friend is me. 我有没有朋友？ 哦，不、不。我不需要任何朋友。我自己就是我的朋友。狐狸（上）：Hello! My beautiful peacock. I’m looking for you everywhere. 你好！美丽的孔雀。 我正到处找你呢。孔雀：Looking for me? 找我？狐狸：Oh, yes! We are holding a forest concert. Would you like to join us?哦，是的！我们要举行一个森林音乐会。你愿意一起参加吗？孔雀：Oh, no, no. I never play with any ugly ones. Look! Your ears are so long. 哦，不，不。我从不和丑陋的人一起玩。看！你的耳朵这么长，They are too terrible. And all of your friends are ugly too. Do you think so?（对观众）他们太可怕了。 并且你所有的朋友都和你一样丑陋。你们说呢？ 狐狸：My beautiful peacock. You are too proud. That’s bad for you. Although we are not beautiful.美丽的孔雀， 你太骄傲了。 这对你不好。 虽然我们并不漂亮。We’ll help you when necessary. Please be our friend. And please take part in our concert.但我们会帮助你在你困难的时候，请成为我们的朋友吧！并请参加我们的音乐剧吧！We all like your dance.我们都喜欢你跳舞。孔雀：Oh, no, no. I never dance for any ugly ones. And I’ll never need your helps.哦，不，不，我从不为丑陋的人跳舞。 并且我不需要你们的帮助。狐狸：My beautiful peacock…… 美丽的孔雀…… 孔雀：（打断狐狸的话）Don’t say any more. You ugly fox. 你别说了，丑陋的狐狸。狐狸：Oh, I have to leave now. You are too proud.哦，我必须走了。 你太骄傲了。孔雀：（独白）Oh, what a lovely day. The sun is shining brightly. Why not have a good sleep under this tall tree?啊，阳光多好啊。 让我在这树下美美的睡上一觉。大灰狼：（自言自语）I’m so hungry. I’m so hungry. Those elves are staying together. 我太饿了。 我太饿了。 那些小精灵们团结的那么紧。 I hear they are having a forest concert today. I have no chance to catch them. 我听说他们又搞什么森林音乐会。 我连抓住他们的机会都没有。 I’m so hungry. Oh, there’s a big hole in the tree. What’s in it? Is there something for me? 我太饿了。 哦，那棵树里有一个大洞。 那里面有什么呢？有什么可吃的呢？ Oh, what’s that? A beautiful peacock. I think I won’t be hungry any longer. 哦，那是什么？一只美丽的孔雀。 我想我不会再饿肚子了。 Look! The two fat arms. They are delicious. 看！那两只结实的胳膊。他们定是美味的。孔雀：（惊吓的）Oh! My god. Who’s that? What are you doing for?哦！上帝啊！那是什么？你想干什么？大灰狼：Aha! I’m your good friend. Don’t be afraid. 啊哈！我是你的好朋友。 别害怕。孔雀：I haven’t got any friends. 我从来没有朋友。大灰狼：That’s OK! Otherwise I’ll have no such a chance. 这就对了！否则的话我怎么会有这样的机会呢？孔雀：You, you are a wolf. You evil one.你，你是一只大灰狼。你想害我。大灰狼：You are right. I’m so hungry. And you are my good dinner. 你说对了。 我太饿了。 你是我丰盛的午餐。孔雀：Help! Help!…. 救命啊！救命啊！…..大灰狼：Don’t run away. My little dear! 别跑，我的小乖乖。 猴子：（出）Listen! Someone is shouting help! 听！谁在喊救命！狐狸、松鼠：（跑上）Who is crying for help? 谁在喊救命？（幕内）孔雀：Help! Help! A big wolf is going to kill me!救命呀！救命呀！大灰狼要吃我了！松鼠：Perhaps it’s the peacock.好像是孔雀。猴子：Oh, my god! A wolf is running after her. My friends. Let’s go and help her quickly.哦，上帝啊！一只狼正在追赶她。 我的朋友们，让我们快去帮她。狐狸：Let me ask Brother Dear to come. Brother Dear! Brother Dear! 我去叫鹿大哥。 鹿大哥！ 鹿大哥！孔雀：Help! Help! (声音渐弱，倒下，狼正要扑过去)鹿：（出）Stop! Stop! You evil one. 住手！你这可恶的大灰狼。猴子、松鼠：Stop! Stop! You evil one.住手！你这可恶的大灰狼。大灰狼：Get away! You! Get away! Or I’ll kill you. 滚开！小东西！滚开！要不我就杀了你。鹿：If you don’t want to die. You’d better leave here right now.如果你不想死的话。 你最好马上离开这儿。大灰狼：Forgive me! Forgive me!饶了我吧！ 饶了我吧！鹿：Don’t bully us again. 以后不许再伤害我们的朋友。大灰狼：I won’t.! I won’t!不敢了！不敢了 ！孔雀：Thank you ！Thank you very much I would have die but for you ! 谢谢你！谢谢你！要不我早就死了。猴子：Don’t cry any more ! 别哭了。鹿：Let me have a look at your wound .Nothing serious!让我给你检查一下，没事的。狐狸： My beautiful peacock ！Let me help you！ 美丽的孔雀，让我来帮助你。孔雀：Thanks a lot ! Let me be your friend. Let me give you my beautiful dance. 谢谢你们，让我成为你们的朋友吧！让我为你们表演最美的舞蹈。众：Welcome! Welcome ! 欢迎欢迎！鹿：Now let’s go and have our forest concert.现在让我们一起去开森林音乐会吧！众：Ok! Let’s go together! 好！我们走！
亲切的海沫儿
守株待兔（英语短剧） 剧本 你可以自己调节角色~ （因为是搞笑,所以不必太拘谨.普通台词意思对即可.） 旁白：Today we will have a role play named “to stand by a tree stump waiting for a hare”. I’m the voice-over. They are the rabbits. She is the farmer and she is the tree. [begin] [Chapter 1] 旁白：Now we are in a village. It is a warm morning. There is a farmer living in this village. Look! Here comes him. Isn’t he modern? [开始.树上台安静地屹立到舞台较后方.] [农夫冷酷地上.] 农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A modern farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上） [冷酷地走两步,突然被绊了一跤,回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头,继续保持冷酷]When I was young, I studied in Shuren International School![掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看,收起] So I’m rich now![开始展示名牌,边说边掏]Look! This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250!This is my Swatch! This my MP5!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS! This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh, sorry. And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do U know what’s this? A rabble? No no no~~It’s my modern —— hoe~![看下表]It’s time to do some farming![开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作,锄了两下,突然] Oh yes! I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上,开始很有激情地边锄地边唱] Farming farming, I’m farming! Farming should be combined with music~! Farming farming, I’m farming! Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下台,把没用的道具拿走,把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台] [Chapter 2] 旁白：Oh~ What a funny farmer he is! And what about this tree? Is she crazy too? 树：I’m a tree! I can do many things! I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作,边做边唱：哼哼哈西!] I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall! And I’m Strong! If you hit me, you will die! Oh? There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A.树站回后台] [兔子A上] 兔子A（一开始不知道状况.以为自己扮演周杰伦,所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼）：Hey everybody, I’m Jay! I love U!I love Nanjing![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U!The name of the song is 《BLABLA~~》![清清嗓子正要唱,这时候导演（旁白）上] 导演（旁白）：[微笑着]Hello! I’m the film director. [拿手中纸筒狠狠打了下兔子A的头]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit, understand?![兔子A：Sorry sorry sorry] [导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》.导演下台之前,看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看,惊喜地]Oh! It’s mine!（很兴奋地拿着下场） 旁白：Now she is a rabbit. What will she do? 兔子A：OK, now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在场上转圈,悠闲散步] [农夫继续锄地,边锄边上场,突然看见前面有个兔子] 旁白: Suddenly, the farmer sees the rabbit… 农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch![扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it! [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走] 旁白：But …How can he catch the rabbit? With the gun? [农夫跟在兔子后面.两个人走啊走.兔子突然回头.农夫假装看手表.两人继续走.兔子回头.农夫假装看天气.两人继续走.兔子回头.农夫假装打手机.两人继续走,兔子回头.这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子.] 兔子A：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What’s this! 农夫：Hnnnn…!I will kill U for lunch! 兔子A：But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来（农夫一开始把枪对着自己）] 农夫：Thank you! 兔子A：My pleasure. （突然想起来农夫要杀自己） Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑,躲到树后面,农夫追到树前] 农夫：Where~ to go? Haha! [农夫开了一枪“砰”.兔子在树后惊慌躲闪,没被打到.树做出受伤中弹状. 农夫又开枪,同上.农夫开始加快频率,火力密集地开枪.（旁白：当当当当——|拟枪声|）兔子开始时惊慌躲闪,躲着躲着跳起舞来.树（树：Oh, my god ! ）继续痛苦中弹状.] 兔子A[自我陶醉中,边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me! 树：[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后] [兔子继续兴奋地跳舞.农夫停止开枪,走到兔子面前,看着它. 兔子猛然抬头发现] 农夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子,开枪,没声音,看看枪,示意没子弹了.兔子见状,非常兴奋地大笑起来] 兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now! [兴奋大笑,笑到抽筋,笑到后仰.突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ![兔子晕两下~~ “我倒!” 倒地] 农夫：OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you ! [想一下] But I’m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子绑到树上.倒地睡到树旁边] [Chapter 3] …… 旁白：Look! The farmer is sleeping! And the rabbit was knocked down, so he is also sleeping now… Oh, no, no! The rabbit is awake! How is it going on then? 兔子A：[兔子很快醒了,看看四周,发现自己被绑了,很惊讶]Where am I? What happened? 树：[指着农夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you. 兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape?[东张西望,看到农夫的手机] [兔子不知不觉地把树杈移开,走到手机前看了看]咦?What’s this?[捡起来看]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原处.又自觉地把自己绑在树上.突然想起来]A mobile!Maybe I can call someone to help me! [又不知不觉地把自己放出来,拿起手机] But how to use it? 旁白：I don’t know how to do… Who can tell him how to use it?! 树：[走上前]Let me tell U. Look, press this button![给兔子] 兔子A：Oh I see. [做出打电话的样子] Hello? 李咏（旁白）：[上台,激情澎湃地] Hello!This is lucky fifty-two![做出幸运52的手势]I’m Liyong!Now let’s start our first question!What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正? A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please! 兔子A：（很冷漠地）Sorry, wrong number.[挂掉] 李咏（旁白）:Answer me! Answer me! En..? Hello?Hi, Hi?[很郁闷地下台] 兔子A：Now let me call again. [拨打] Hello? 兔子B：Hello. 兔子A：Hey Jackey! 兔子B：Hey tommy! 兔子A：How are you doing? 兔子B：Fine, thank you. And U? 兔子A：I’m fine too! How are your parents doing? 兔子B：They are fine, thank you. And U? 兔子A：They are fine, too! How is your uncle doing? 兔子B：He’s fine, thank you! And U? 兔子A：He’s fine , too! 兔子B：But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY! 兔子A：No no no! I’m in danger now! Come and help me! 兔子B：But where are you? 兔子A：I’m under a tree! 兔子B：[边打电话边在附近走,经过兔子A面前,两个人还没发现]What can you see around you? 兔子A：I see a rabbit , rather like you! 兔子B：A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come! Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开] 旁白：[摇摇头]How lovely and funny they are ! 兔子A 打完电话,小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处,还很有礼貌地说了句“Thank you.” 然后又很自觉地把自己绑回了树上] 兔子A：Hahaha! My friend will come and save me, yeah! [兴奋过度,后仰,头又撞倒树上,昏眩中…“我晕!” 又晕了] 旁白：Look, the rabbit’s friend comes here. How will he save his friend? [兔子B上]兔子B：I’m also a rabbit!I’m clever! I’m brave ! And I’m strong! [展示肌肉] OH!My friend is here! Let me help him out! [费力地想把树枝（双臂）挪开,使了几次劲,还是不行] It’s too tight! I must think of a good way! [看到农夫扔掉的痒痒挠] Let’s see,what’s this!A hoe![装作打高尔夫球,试了试锄头手感]Oh,it’s nice.[走到树面前,正要砍.旁白：What a poor tree it is!] 树：Stop!What will you do? 兔子B：I will cut you down to save my friend. 树：O. [突然醒悟] What?! Cut me down?! Teachers told us that we should protect the environment! Understand?! 兔子B：Oh yes!You are right! [扔掉锄头] I have to think of another idea! [想了想] Oh![灵感突来][看了看手表] Oh it’s time to do morning exercise !Come on! [开始带头做早操.做着做着对树说“Follow me!” （企图让树动起来,两只手松开,这样就可以救出兔子A）树也开始跟着做起早操. 兔子B轻轻上前,想救出兔子A.但是树的广播操动作恰好都是会挡住营救的.兔子B狂汗… -_-b 广播操毕.树继续绑着兔子A] 兔子B：Why?! Maybe I need another idea. Oh! I’ve got it!Music! [音响放起泰坦尼克号主题曲高潮前奏（旁白）. 兔子B抱住树,企图引导树像女主角一样张开双臂,放出兔子A.树渐渐陶醉,手缓缓松开.兔子B正要搭救同伴,突然兔子A两只手张开,成了女主角动作.树又抱住了兔子A的腰,成了男主角动作.树和A陶醉其中.B要唤醒A：“Wake up! Wake up!” 兔子A沉醉其中,完全不理它,还用脚踹走要救它的B：“Don’t disturb me!”继续陶醉.] 兔子B：（无奈ing…）Stop!（音乐停） （沮丧）I can’t save my friend…[掏出纸巾想要擦汗,带出10块钱,掉在地上] 树：Money![一个箭步冲上去捡起钱,回到原位并且对着太阳验钞.] 兔子A：[看四周] I’m free! Oh yes, I’m free! Thank you, Jackey! [慢动作深情扑向兔子B] Jackey~~~~ [突然兔子B低头系鞋带.兔子A控制不住一下子撞在树上,晕两下说：“暴头!”死翘.] [兔子B见状冲上去,深情地搂住A：“Tommy! Tommy!”[伤心地俯下身子,紧紧抱住A] [这时睡觉中的农夫突然一个翻身,又把B压在了下面] 兔子B：I…can’t….breath……I’m dying! [也翘了] [Chapter 4] 旁白：The rabbit B not only can’t save his friend, but also was suppressed by the farmer… Oh, the farmer is awake now! 农夫：[农夫这时候醒了.擦了下口水,看见两只兔子] En..?Two rabbits! I remember I have caught just one?! Oh, maybe I drank too much. [兴奋地一手提一只兔子,哼着小曲下场] 树：[还在验钞的树正高兴,突然发现是假钞]Ah!There’s something wrong with the note, It’s a fake!Wait for me![追下去] 旁白：Since that day, the farmer always sleeps behind this tree whole day to get more rabbits to eat. But he never catches one rabbit any more. Now it is the end of this play. We want to use this role play to show you that you can’t reap without sowing, you must work hard to get your own harvest. Thank you for your watching!
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